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Taylor Swift's 'Tortured Poets Department' and when lyrics about dying, grief, heartbreak trigger you
View Date:2025-01-13 06:45:29
Since "Teardrops on My Guitar," Taylor Swift has been known to tug and pluck our heartstrings. But with new album "The Tortured Poets Department," she's not just plucking and tugging. She's tearing. Slicing. Shredding.
A sampling: "So I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your street." "I might just die, it would make no difference / Down bad, wakin' up in blood." "Oh, what a way to die / My bed sheets are ablaze / I screamed his name / Building up like waves crashing over my grave."
If any of the above – or other lyrics – feel triggering to you in some way, you're not alone. Experts suggest myriad methods to cope with musical-induced maladies, from exposure therapy to seeking formal mental health treatment to avoiding the music altogether as needed.
That said, this is Swift we're talking about. Her music will be unavoidable. "There will likely be times when you can't control the music," says Amy Morin, psychotherapist, author of "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do" and the host of a podcast. "When you're in an Uber, shopping in a store, or eating in a restaurant, you won't have control over the music. In those cases, it's helpful to have another strategy to help you cope."
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Music is bound to make you feel something. "People need to understand that music is tied to memory, and memories are tied to emotions," says Kevin Chapman, founder and director of the Kentucky Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders. It represents nostalgia, negative and positive life experiences, people, places and things.
Combine that with Swift's specific songwriting prowess, and the authenticity will sink from depths of your eardrums to your soul. "One thing about Taylor Swift's music is it's sort of become synonymous with what it means to experience authentic American music in the sense that she's a songwriter," says Melvin L. Williams, associate professor of communication studies at Pace University. "She composes her music, and she's very much at the pen, both literally and metaphorically of how it all comes together, which lends a level of authenticity that varies from artists who don't write their music."
That authenticity, though, could be painful for the listener, particularly on the song "loml," where "she really demonstrates her powerful gift of illustrating the nuanced emotions of heartbreak and the ways in which they really resemble a death."
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If you're going through it, take a beat and accept "the fact that these emotions, albeit painful, exist," Williams says.
But "don't judge your emotional experience when it is triggered," Chapman adds. "In other words, if I've had a traumatic experience, and it's triggered by music and songs that remind me of that traumatic event, it is important to acknowledge that things like anger, sadness, disgust, fear, those emotions at the core serve an adaptive purpose." It's OK to feel your feelings ... but take a step back if you need.
Try distracting yourself, Morin suggests, or come up with a plan for when a triggering song starts playing.
"The most simple yet effective thing to do," says Chase Cassine, licensed clinical social worker, "is first breathe when taking deep breaths it helps to decrease anxiety, re-center yourself and notifies the brain that you're not in a dangerous situation but actually in a safe space."
And "if you were scared, do something that brings you peace such as praying, taking a walk, listening to sounds of nature, or listening to your favorite comedian," says psychologist Renée Carr.
"You can also try exposure therapy to make a song less triggering," Morin says. "Listening to a song over and over again might take away the impact it has on you. But, if you have PTSD or a mental health issue, you may want to talk to a licensed professional to assist you with this."
Chapman adds: "Binge listening, over listening to certain music when I don't understand that therapeutic nature of that will be problematic and probably backfire."
All in all, though, Swift gave her emotionally available audiences a gift. To, as Williams says, "really see what the other side looks like, in terms of overcoming (pain) and ultimately arriving at the other side."
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